Mistake #7: Being Too Self Focused
When I was developing my business and working hard to reach my goals, I put all my focus on reaching my targets. It was like I could only talk about my business, and that achieving my goals became the most important thing in my life. As a result I neglected my husbant's and child needs and, hence, began losing the connection I had with them. I stopped asking my husband how his day was, what he did or how he was feeling. I only focused on myself. I became less interested in my kids development and put videos on for them to watch so I could do a bit more work.
I became the centre of my universe.
Sure, I was achieving my goals - but at a cost!
One day my husbant sat me down to have one of those 'talks'. He said 'Katerina, I'm not feeling 'wooed' or 'special' anymore - I feel like I just fit into your life and that you are taking me, and our kid, for granted'.
Let me tell you, my husbant has a way of putting things that make you sit up and listen. I was lucky that he pointed out that I was getting too wrapped up in my own needs and neglected my family before we drifted any further. He has helped me stay on track by reminding me that other people need my attention too.
Don't wait for a wake-up call before you realize the importance of making time to connect with your family and friends.
No matter how busy life gets, how important you think work is, or how urgently work has to get done, unless you are connecting with the people who are special in your life then you will be missing the very things you are working so hard to have in your life. It has been said that we should work to live - not live to work. I know that you don't always have the luxury of switching off at night and leaving work at work. You may have to work harder and longer to ensure that all the deadlines are met. There is a lot of pride in doing a good job.
However, if that is taking your all your focus and time away from your family and friends, then you have to question -
what's it all for? Is it really worth it?
Each night, spend time connecting with your family and friends. As important as work is, it won't always be there for you - but your family probably will, so make sure you put them as high on your priority 'to do' list as your work commitments.
You can get insurance to protect your car, house and boat. You can get insurance to protect your health and income.
You can even get insurance in case of death, disability and trauma.
Yet, how do you insure your ability to work and/or drive your business? How do you protect yourself from burnout?
Your capacity to work and perform is what keeps you employed or in business. If your performance is compromised, so is your working capacity, stamina and quality...not to mention your wellbeing and quality of life.
You are not a machine. Your body will break down and you will experience stress if you consistently push yourself beyond your working capacity.
There are lots of pressures that people in business face each day: long hours, pressing deadlines, too many days on the road, difficult or demanding clients, family issues...and I could keep going on and on.
So, how can you become resilient to these pressures? Do you learn stress management?
NO! Stress Management doesn't work!
I should know. After working with over 1000 people in my coaching practice I can tell you that trying to reduce stress is doomed for failure.
Because stress is just a 'symptom' of a person who is not resilient.
There's no point fixing a symptom if you don't deal with the cause. That's like taking a painkiller for a headache without addressing the possible causes like neck tension, dehydration, hormone imbalance, tiredness or spinal misalignment (subluxation). The headache is bound to return because the cause hasn't been dealt with. Instead of trying to reduce stress, learn how to become resilient to pressure so you can quickly bounce back from the setbacks, obstacles or challenges in business, work and life. This way, regardless of what is thrown your way, you are able to sustain, and even expand, your personal capacity and productivity when working under pressure.
The bottom line is you need to take responsibility for your 'bounce back' and resilience to pressure, and not rely on the company, other people, or a system to 'fix' your problems.
You need to know how to…
· Work at your best without burning yourself out. · Prevent clients or customers from draining you.
· Spring back from setbacks, obstacles and problems.
· Focus for hours at a time without getting neck, back or eyestrain. · Handle negative feedback without getting upset.
Learning how to become resilient to pressure is the closest thing there is to having 'performance insurance'.
Please, don’t just read this blog – take some action! Information without action is useless!
Don’t wait for the warning signs, the burnout, the overload, or tension before being proactive.
Over the next 24 hours, act on just one idea in this blog, then repeat the process for another idea over the following 24 hours.
Here are only seven of the mistakes that people make which create stress in their lives. However, if you take action on just one idea each day, I know that you will become more resilient to the pressures and challenges that life throws at you.
This is, however, only the beginning – there is so much more you can do to become resilient to pressure and stress in your life.
On the following two pages I have listed some of the ways you can continue to learn the resilience techniques…
a. Read Articles:
There is a large archive of articles on building personal resilience, developing stress-hardiness, work-life balance and increasing working stamina. They are all free to view and download on the internet.
b. Turn Stress into Energy & Enthusiasm
go to the gym, take dancing lessons, go for a walk, do something that gives you energy and enthusiasm
c. Conference speaker and In-house training Programs
As a professional speaker and trainer, I am available to speak to your team, division, company, group or organization on how to become resilient to pressure in their work and life. You can send me and e-mail and tell me your ideas.
In my high energy, interactive and light-hearted presentations, I demystify how to bounce back from any setback or challenge by becoming resilient to pressure and avoid creating stress.
d. One-to-one Coaching
Katerina’s Resilience Coaching program helps you to create the mindset and lifestyle that motivates you to rise above your business, work and life pressures so you can achieve what you want from life.
The program is specifically designed for people who have a lot at stake with their business/work and need to stay at ‘on the ball’, in control, and focused at all times, so they can handle whatever challenge or setback is thrown their way without becoming drained, tense or burning themselves out.
I would like to hear your feedback on how you have applied the strategies discussed in this blog
. Please email your comments to: firstname.lastname@example.org
I wish you every success in your life.